I was asked by the couple standing together today to say a few words. I was actually pretty surprised that of any person they could have asked, they chose me, when there are many other people with more experience with this sacrament than I have.
I am humbled by their trust in me.
I promise this will not be a diatribe.
When I was young, as young as I can remember (Like 4 or 5 years old), I never considered the idea of marriage, I never actually thought about it. ‘Mom and Dad’ ? They just were. So were Grandma and Grandpa. I didn’t even think about the idea that my parents were even separate people, really, if I think hard enough about it.
Like all memories, in the passage of time, this recollection may have been colored, yet it feels very real to me now.
As an adult, what I’ve been able to learn about marriage is that I have found that it works best when I approach a state of being similar what I had perceived as a young boy. What I mean to say is:
Mom and Dad need to be a united being.
Not just to those observing, but indeed to each other.
You may have noticed that I’ve not said ‘Husband and wife’ so far. It is intentional. The other thing that I’ve learned about marriage is: titles don’t matter.
Don’t be simply ‘Dad’, or “Mom.” ‘Husband’ or ‘Wife’ ‘Breadwinner’ or “homemaker.” Before you know it, if you’re doing things correctly, you are all of those things.
Dishes are everybody’s job! Laundry will be there tomorrow. The books will not balance themselves. Hurts will not heal without kisses. Sadness will not be overcome without shared joy.
In each of us, we have secret hopes and dreams. A great thing I once read is “A life needs secret plans”.
The person who stands with you on your marriage day is that co-conspirator. The one you let into your heart and soul.
I have been asked, how do you make it last?
I say to you this has a remarkably simple answer.
When I was in the Catholic afterschool program, one day a week„ I had the meanest nun as a teacher. Sister Rose only needed one day to drum the Lord into your head. She is not remembered fondly by me, except for one single thing that she taught me. She used to say: “No matter how bad your day was, you can always come and say ‘God I give you my day,’ And let Him have it. “That one thing”, she said, “would make you rich in heaven.”
Like other great little tidbits, I have woven this idea into my life and changed it to fit a very specific purpose. If giving your bad day to God works wonders in heaven, then I think there is a method for that on earth as well.
Every day that I wake up, I look at my beautiful wife and say to myself: “I’m married today”.
And I mean it as deeply as I did the day I stood where you are standing now. You only have to focus on being married for that day. Every day you can make that decision you are doing it right. And if you are, you will be rich on earth, in the finest example of human civilization: a good loving family.
That family starts today.
It starts with little moments that you give to one another. Moments that help to create secret plans. Plans that might even lead to changes and new roads! New things and sad things. All overcome with shared joy. In this way you will grow together into a single being. You will be watched by your children and you will help them to also one day remember what life is really all about.
May I just say that Katy Perry sucks but Pumped Up Kicks is an amazing song. Just because it's based on Columbine doesn't mean it's bad; it has meaning, even if it's not a HAPPY meaning. Nowhere does it condone the violence, it merely tells a story.
"I told [my daughter] that songs have meaning. Some songs are great, and some songs are terrible. I played her “Pumped Up Kicks” and about half way through I told her it was a song about a terrible crime that was committed by a boy for no reason. I told her that just because the music sounds great, doesn’t mean that it is a nice song."
And for reference; the refrain of Pumped up kicks is of course: "All the other kids with the pumped up kicks,You better run, better run, outrun my gun.All the other kids with the pumped up kicks,You better run, better run, faster than my bullet.”
Anon, you’re allowed to like anything you want. But you’re taking a single line of a post out of context because you happen to like that song
That particular song doesn’t decry the violence it heralds either. And in the context of the lesson to my daughter this song was a fine example to help her to understand that a song can sound awesome but have a very different meaning and intent than the feel of the music.
Further, as the thesis of the lesson, music should be considered and evaluated by the listener. My daughter wasn’t considering what she was listening to because she didn’t know how to do it. As a parent, it’s my job to help orient my progeny properly.
I’m not sure Pumped up Kicks is a nice song. Is “Brick” by Ben Folds a nice song?
Pumped up kicks is a song that tells the story about a young person who walked into a public establishment and killed a lot of innocent people for no reason. Didn’t that just happen in Colorado? Again?
Like whatever musics you want for whatever reasons you want. But consider why you like it. Is it because you like the imagery of that music? How it makes you feel?
I am excited to say that after starting my fitness journey I’ve been on, that I am participating in a unique and exciting 5K event to raise money in support of the American Cancer Society’s mission to fight cancer.
If you’re interested in this sort of this, please visit my personal page to learn more about my participation in this event and to make a secure, online donation. All contributions are tax deductible and will support the lifesaving research, education, advocacy, and patient service programs of the American Cancer Society. My company even matches my contributions to stuff like this.
Every bit helps, so thank you in advance for any support you can provide. Please forward this email to your friends and family on my behalf to encourage them to visit my personal site to support the fight against cancer.